


Well Diddly Dern

by Ravenel Edwards (yuki_os)



Category: D. Gray-man
Genre: Comedy, Funny, Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-06-14
Packaged: 2018-04-04 10:39:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4134405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuki_os/pseuds/Ravenel%20Edwards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lavi and Bookman return from a mission in North America, Lavi comes back a little bit different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Well Diddly Dern

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired from a post I saw on tumblr about imagining your ot4 as different types of people, and "Southern Hick" really spoke to me, though I didn't think and of the other ones fit with the other characters. Enjoy!

“Lavi! Welcome ba-” Lenalee was cut off by her own bewilderment at Lavi’s outfit as he walked into the cafeteria. A beige cowboy hat, a red plaid shirt under jean overalls, and red cowboy boots? Has he lost his mind?  
“L-Lavi? Are you alright?” Allen tried to hold back his giggles. Even Kanda, who was sitting in the back of the room, cracked a grin at the sight of Lavi.   
“Well, howdy everybody!” The tall boy grinned whilst tipping his hat.   
“How was your mission in North America? Did you find any Innocence?” Lenalee asked.  
Lavi sat down and chuckled. “It was great! We didn’t find any o’ that dern Innocence, though, it was just a diddly damn tornado causin’ all that ruckus! It was all hat and no cattle, I tell y’all.”   
“But you were gone for two weeks,” Allen laughed.  
“Them trains down there are slower than molasses goin’ uphill in the wintertime! I also decided to take some time to swim and fish in the cricks. It’s hotter than Hell’s half acre down there in them southern states! Them girls were keeee-uuuute though!” The boy bubbled.   
Suddenly, Bookman walked in, wearing his normal Order clothes. He seemed tired, which was unusual for him even in his old age.   
“Hey there, pappaw! You’re sure late to the welcome party!”   
The man glared at his apprentice, but said nothing.  
“You alright, old man? That look’s colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra!”   
Finally, Bookman hit Lavi with a banjo in the back of his head, knocking off the boy’s hat and busting one of the strings.  
“Eeek!” Lavi screamed, “My banjo!”  
Meanwhile, Lenalee, Allen, and Kanda watched in awe as the old man quite literally beat some sense into his junior with the banjo.   
“Alright, alright, gramps! Quit it with the damn banjo!” Lavi whined, a large welt forming on his head.   
“Then quit making a fool of yourself, you stupid apprentice! I’ve dealt with your southern crap for two weeks!” Bookman growled.   
“Can I at least keep my hat?”   
“No!” The others shouted in unison.   
“Well, diddly dern,” Lavi pouted.


End file.
